What I have going on...

With Todd getting ready to leave (in a week and a half) I am starting to gear up for what will keep me busy while he's away. I will be teaching some Scrapbooking & Card Making classes in March and holding a big retreat on May 3rd for National Scrapbooking Day. (I mean BIG retreat, catered, chocolate fountain, lots of scrap goodies, etc!) If you want to see the details of the classes or retreat you can click HERE. (I don't expect you to travel all the way here for these events...unless you are my true friends...just kidding!) My own Mother will be debuting her photography skills at the retreat by teaching a mini-class and getting sign ups for some family pictures. (Right MOM!!)
I will also be traveling here and there to do some visiting, I plan to be in Utah for Conference Weekend so if anyones around at that time let me know and let's get together!
To be perfectly honest with you...who ever you are that happens to read my blog...this is really hard for me. I act really tough and strong and independent and never need help from anyone but this is so different. I've never needed anyone the way I need Todd and thinking about the next year without him is scary, to say the least. I have faith and I'm praying "mightily" but I still ache inside when I think about being away from him. I have felt really selfish lately as I've had these feelings but today I had a tender mercy from the Lord as I read the tribute to President Hinckley that came with the new Ensign. We didn't watch the funeral and so this was the first time I had heard/read the talks given. There was something shared that really helped me to prepare for what is to come and that was in President Hinckley's daughters talk.
She said: "That process of continual growth is the story of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that he [President Hinckley] loved to tell, as well as the story of his own life. That kind of growth requires faith, courage, discipline, and hard work-partnered with the gracious hand of the Lord. At no time was this growth process seen more forcefully by us as a family than during the past four years, the capstone years of his life. Following the death of Mother, his grief was almost overwhelming. Characteristically, he acknowledged it-felt it, wept and mourned deeply. He went to the Lord with his tears, thus allowing the loss to carve out an even deeper place in his heart for compassion and dig an even deeper well of faith and trust in God. Then, with that increase in compassion and faith, he put on his shoes and went back to work-in every sense of the word."
Even now as I type this, I feel the spirit so powerfully telling me that it's okay to feel these feelings, it means that I have such a deep love for Todd and for our relationship and am devastated to think about life without him. But, I also feel the peace that can only come from my Heavenly Father as I read the words about our dear prophet and the pain and grief that he went through with the loss of his sweet wife. He understood the plan of salvation better than anyone on earth and he still grieved and mourned deeply. And then he went to the Lord. I love the part of that talk that says that when he took his tears to the Lord "thus allowing the loss to carve out an even deeper place in his heart for compassion and dig an even deeper well of faith and trust in God."
I will work for this same thing and pray that the Lord will fill my heart with compassion for those around me and fill my well with a deeper meaning of faith and trust in God. How grateful I am for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessings that it has brought and continues to bring into my life. I am but one person in a world filled with millions of people and yet my Heavenly Father is aware of me and my needs. I am so blessed!