Milestone!

I am thrilled to be reporting in this morning at 199lbs. What a milestone to reach. I have to be honest and tell you that while Todd has been doing this weight loss journey with me it's been easy to be discouraged when I've seen the lbs just falling off of him. It seems like he can just look at the treadmill and the weight will just fall off...but I have seen myself change in different ways and I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I made Parkerhouse Rolls...aaahhhhh...just thinking about them makes my mouth water. But when I had one fresh out of the oven with a little butter brushed on the top it wasn't satisfying to me. And something I realized through this is if you can't be satisfied with the first one, what makes you think you'd be satisfied with the second, third or fourth. And even if you do like something, like a roll, piece of bread, or sweet treat, if you are satisfied with the first piece, why go on? Why not just let your body enjoy the piece you had and stop there. Eating more only adds lbs, guilt and honestly makes you sick if you don't know when to quit.

I've been studying lately about weakness/temptations and I find it incredibly interesting that some people face their trials internally and have to struggle in the quiet chambers of their soul (as David O. McKay said) and others wear their trials, weaknesses and temptations externally for everyone to see. Why is this? Why does the Lord think that some are capable of such negative public attention and humiliation and others can wear theirs quietly to themselves where no one even knows what they are going through and they battle it on their own? As someone who has struggled with weight and self-worth because of my body image for most of my life, I am totally perplexed by this thought. I was at Sam's Club about a month ago and walked down an isle where I saw a woman on one of those electric wheelchair/carts and she was very overweight and normally my reaction would have been - "Why doesn't she just get up and walk? That would eliminate some of her problem." But I didn't think that this particular time, instead I felt deeply sad for her and felt love for her as I imagined she was experiencing real pain and emotional trials because of this challenge. I wanted to talk to her to find out what had caused this, what false belief was she believing about herself that allowed her to hang onto this this long. And what kind of spirit must she be in order for the Lord to have given her a challenge like this and if she could only realize her potential spiritually she would be able to overcome this...so...obviously it wasn't a typical Sam's Club trip because I was thinking all kinds of things that I normally wouldn't have but it created a domino effect in my mind and in the things that I have done since.

One of my favorite scriptures says: "And if men (or women) come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men (or women) weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." So...if we take these things to the Lord HE can help us overcome. He gives us these trials to make us humble and to help us come unto him and if we don't, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to receive blessings that he is already willing and ready to give us. I don't know about you, but I would love to receive those blessings!!! So...this stemmed some decisions in my life and I took the opportunity to accept the help that I should have accepted a long time ago!!!!!!! This has been a remarkable journey and definitely not an easy one but I am so excited for the end result and the freedom that will come from turning this over to the Lord and trusting that my spirit is stronger than my physical body!