Emotional Day...

It is with deepest emotion and the heaviest heart that I must say goodbye to my dear and beloved companion and friend~Charlie Brown. I am devastated about this and have spent the last few days in tears, headaches and aching over this decision. I know though, that given the circumstances, I have no other choice. Charlie needs more of me than I can give him now in this stage of my life and has become incredibly jealous of my Emma. He hasn't done anything yet to harm her, but keeping him around her is only setting him up for failure. I love him too much to let that happen.

This dog came along in my life at a time when it really wasn't convenient to have a dog...I was single, living in an apartment (that didn't allow pets), I worked full-time...etc. I had no business getting a dog...but it was meant to be in every way. We lived together just the 2 of us for a long time before Todd and I got married and that transition and change alone was tramatic and difficult for Charlie. I stayed by his side when he ran up my credit card bill in the ICU at the Vet Clinic from an Advil Overdose. We loved to go to the HUGE dog park at Chatfield Resevoir when we lived in Denver. At night in Glenwood Springs when it was so cold, Charlie slept in my covers with me just to keep me warm. He was always so excited to see me when I came home, sad to see me leave, and craved every moment of my attention even if that meant sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for me to get out of the shower. He knew the day I was going to have Emma and acted so different and protective of me. He loves to go for walks and chase his tennis ball. He isn't particularly fond of other dogs, but tolerates them. Charlie loves to be in the car with me...especially if we go through a drive through because he knows he will always get a treat.

When you love someone as much as I've loved Charlie Brown the loss is indescribable to those who have never experienced this kind of bond. I've been on my knees praying that the Lord would take this behavioral problem away from Charlie so he can stay with us, but I realize that to take away this gift and capacity that Charlie has to love for his "person" would truly change the very dog and creature that I love. Through the course of my desperate pleadings and cries to the Lord, I have been blessed with several very interested families willing and ready to take Charlie and I have found the family I feel right about. He will go to his new home today. I take comfort in knowing that he is going to a family who already loves him and that love will continue to grow as he bonds to them the way he has to me. I know that he will be well taken care of and loved and cuddled as if he were with me and I couldn't ask for a better life for him than what he is going to have.

Someday, when Emma is older and understands more about life and love and heartbreak I will explain to her how I had to make the hardest decision of my life to this point for her and how much I love her and how as crazy as it sounds this amazing, wonderful, loving creature called Charlie Brown made me a better mother and prepared me for her. I hope she understands...