I just wanted to do a quick post tonight...nothing really exciting has happened in the past few days. I'm sweating out of control and Todd has finally agreed to put the swamp cooler in, we took 2 of the 3 goats to the "Goat Farm" for a little damage control. We picked our first zucchini from the garden and then about 5 more. And we have taken A LOT of naps.But...tonight, as I went in to Emma's room to check on her and un-swaddle her due to heat (Yes this girl is 2 years old and has to be swaddled in order to fall asleep...) I opened the door to her bedroom and I could smell her. Nothing bad or dirty, just the smell of my sweet Emma and I cried. I have been wildly emotional the past week and I know that the pregnancy hormones have everything to do with it, but as I stood there staring at my little girl, not a baby anymore and watching her breathe and sleep I cried as I thought about the hundreds and thousands of moments that she and I have shared the past two years and how special that has been for me. One of the hardest things for me about deciding to have another baby and when to have it was tied up with my feelings for Emma and making sure that she was ready to not be the only one anymore. And for me to be ready to not just have her but to be able to share my attention with another child.
I know that it won't be easy, but that this is right for me and for our family to add another spirit to our home. But tonight...I just stood there and enjoyed the smell of my little person that made me a mother and has taught me more than I thought possible.
How I love that girl...
5 comments:
It was really hard for me to get used to the idea of having a second baby too. Jack is my best little friend and I felt so disloyal. But honestly giving Emma a sibling is the best and kindest thing you could do for her. Jack adores his sister and I can't imagine what he would have done without her. Been very bored probably. But it's still hard to imagine.
I remember that feeling of just smelling you kids. The first time I let you go to Grandma's house I went into your room and cried..."What have I done...Tiffy...I NEED YOU!!!" I would get your blanket from your bed and sleep with it and went promptly the next day to get you. That obsession of "sniffing" you must have carried over into your teen years when I used the squeeze and sniff after a date! Can I help it if I love the smell of my children. You're such a great mom!
She is so dang cute!! I really think Emma could be a baby model and be on the huggies diaper box! What a cutie!
What a precious moment to have with her, even if she didn't know it! Make sure you write it down in HER journal. You are a great mother...although i always knew you would be! Lots of practice!!
by the way this picture is beautiful!!
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